So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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