Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
