But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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