dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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