dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
