I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize