the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
