what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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