You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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