He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
