The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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