please come you make the beer taste better
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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