then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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