Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
