My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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