Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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