yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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