That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
