every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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