Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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