I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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