Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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