Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
