You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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