Do you still have your period?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
