Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
When did angry sex become our thing?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
