Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Rumble strips road head = magical
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize