doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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