Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize