i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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