the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Randomize
