We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Randomize
