clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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