By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
