I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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