There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
