my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
