i love accidental penises.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
