If that was your dad, he is hot
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm just crazy horny about you
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
