I got chris browned last night
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
