That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
