What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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