ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Randomize
