At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
