you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
