The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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