I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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