We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
