I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
