he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
