do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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