have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He is an equal opportunity slut.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
did you just send me my own nude
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
