Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize