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I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
