She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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