I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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