trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
