but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
