He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
