im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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