weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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