he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
