my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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