Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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