how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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