He kissed a someone with a penis
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
